Monday, February 28, 2011

Come Come Earn Money!!! HUAT AR!!!

In this world of limited time, we all have our jobs to chase with. What would you do when you need more money than your job could give? Need some way to earn extra cash on the net? You heard of earning money by 'monetizing your blog', let me share something else with you, almost the same concept but a little different.

We all would have Facebook and Twitter right? We post status, tweet, wall to wall to inform friends around us about thing we wanna share or events we interested to join in. Do the same thing and earn money this time =]

Introducing to you: Churp Churp!!

It is as simple as Nuffnang, the only differences is you could put your 'source of money' anywhere you like, Facebook, Twitter, Emails, you name it!! All you have to do is to copy the 'Message'( Used for Twitter) or 'Link' (Used for anything else) and paste it wherever where people could see it and click on it. Based on the campaign, they will pay as per contract to you, easy right?? And it is also easy to register and have everything done, all you have to do is following instructions, be a good boy/girl alright... xD

So what are you waiting for? Register and earn money now!! All you have to do is click>>> Churp Churp~

Mr.E signing out, money is everywhere, it just depends on you to catch it or not =]

THE FINAL SHEARING (MAYBE)

For the past few days I had been weighing an option faced by many middle-aged men, and after getting a second opinion from a person whom I respect, I have taken what could be a permanent course of action. In four months I will be forty-six years old and I still haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that I'm really that old, but the natural aging process reminds me almost daily that the bloom of youth is fading and that certain changes must be addressed and applied. Fortunately the situation I was mulling over was in no way threatening to my well-being, but rather a case of personal aesthetics.

My formative years took place during the era of "black is beautiful," a theoretically excellent period in which American black folks were encouraged to embrace our own awesomeness and differences from the rest of the melting pot. Not at all a bad idea, and one of the things we encouraged ourselves to do was the embracing of our famously kinky hair and grow it out into a "natural" that eschewed ages of wearing it close-cropped or straightened via "the Process" in a presumed attempt at denying our ethnic roots (translation: "trying to look white"). During the decade spanning the late 1960's through roughly the late 1970's, the "natural" Afro was everywhere and the more ginormous and spherical, the better. Notables like Angela Davis rocked 'fros that looked like they had spongy, ebony Death Stars organically sprouting from their skulls and it was not only visually impressive, it was downright fucking majestic. They were a powerful visual symbol of freedom and soul, and its like has not been seen or felt since. Those examples of cranial topiary made their hippie-era wearers resemble proud lions or some grand creature from ancient myth, and no rocker of the Afro style had a greater impact on me than Jim Kelly, the super-cool black co-star alongside Bruce Lee in ENTER THE DRAGON (1973).

Jim Kelly, my Afro role model, as seen in the classic ENTER THE DRAGON (1973).

I didn't see ENTER THE DRAGON until I was fifteen but I was quite familiar with the visual of Jim Kelly, thanks to his ubiquity in the era's numerous martial arts magazines. Even mere static pictures of the guy gave off a near-palpable aura of refined martial cool, in essence making him a sepia analog to Bruce Lee, and upon reaching that point in adolescence where one seeks to in some way glean a measure of cool from their pop culture idols, I claimed Jim Kelly's awesome warrior 'do as my own follicular template. Once I was finally allowed full autonomy over how I wore my hair, I went for the Jim Kelly look with a vengeance and it took me nearly two full years of letting it grow wild before it reached the desired sphericality. Once it was more or less where I wanted it to be, I swear that shrubbery-like coiffure fueled my young man's piss-and-vinegar attitude and served as part of what made me visually unusual and an individual in my hometown (as though simply being a Negro in that locale was not enough to accomplish that) and on the campus of my university. A surprisingly erudite wildman a la the post-Shamhat Enkidu, if you will.

The young, sword-wielding Bunche during the late summer of 1986: rockin' the 'Fro and living as a free-spirited, merrily-stoned, aspiring warrior-artiste.

But, as with many things we admired and aspired to until we gained wisdom and fully understood them, the "natural" was anything but what our ancestors in the Motherland wore. The simple reality of the situation that Africa is hot. Really, really fucking hot, and maintaining a basketball-sized head of thick, woolly hair is not only potentially unhygienic, it's also hot and uncomfortable as a motherfucker. Hence native Africans since Day One having the good sense to either keep their hair cropped super-close or non-existent altogether. The shit I and other black kids of my generation grew up seeing depicted on a plethora of cheesy black light posters — comic book-style images of proud Nubian men and women with idealized physiques, sporting faux "African" garb and planet-sized hair, while herds of zebra ran across an idyllic veldt; images less realistic than those seen in the Black Panther's Wakanda — was therefore complete and total bullshit, and even if our parents knew that, they kept mum in order to instill in us a sense of pride that was lacking for many of them as they grew up under segregation during the dire pre-Civil Rights days. I can get behind the intent, but no one told us that the perfect 'Fro was largely a fantasy, and a fleeting one at best, and discovering that is a good hard kick in the skull to those of us who put in the time and effort to cultivate and care for one.

Yer Bunche in the late 1990's: hair so thick, you could have dragged me by it behind a tow truck and it would have remained attached.

As I entered into my late twenties and early thirties, I grew weary of maintaining my full-on 'Fro and I began to experiment with either shaving it outright — my first attempt at which I achieved by shaving my head smooth with a couple of those cheap plastic disposable razors, resulting in my friend Jared correctly observing "You look like you got into a fight with a cat and lost" — or wearing it in the occasional "'Frohawk" style.

The "'Frohawk," circa Halloween 1997: note the height and thickness as seen when not obstructed by having hair on the sides of my head.

Then — I'm not exactly sure when — I realized it was much easier and far more comfortable to simply shear it all off with a buzzer and render my skull completely smooth with a razor in the shower. I felt cool with that because I was no longer a kid trying to figure out how to be a man, and black men happen to look pretty good bald. Plus my hair still grew back with considerable zeal, so if I wanted to return to the full wool, why not?

Then came a summer afternoon two years ago, when my mom came into the city and we wandered about lower Manhattan, eventually stopping for a rest in Washington Square Park. As we sat in the sun, I ran my hand through my hair and noticed how thin it was in some areas. I remarked upon this to my mother and after a moment she said she'd noticed that my once-luxuriant mop showed through down to the scalp here and there, but she had been loath to say anything. Following that I went home and snapped a shot of the back of my head so I could have a look-see and judge for myself. What I saw confirmed what I'd feared, specifically that some of my hair had reached the consistency of cotton candy and that while it was not falling out in hunks, areas of it simply did not grow past a certain point anymore. Thus it was that I began either shaving my head bare or steadily keeping it buzzed very close.

I let it grow in in full starting in early October in anticipation of winter, but again I felt the area of sparseness and contemplated just lopping it off again. I kicked it around and around, again photographing the back of my head for visual reference, and finally I asked my dear friend Sukihoshi for her opinion when she came over the other night.

Late on Sunday afternoon: my amazing see-through 'Fro.

She appraised my noggin and blithely said, "Aah, just cut it off." I took that to heart and waited until early yesterday afternoon to hit my skull with the buzzer and then hit the shower with my Gillette Mach-3 razor in hand, and now my cranium is once again as smooth as a boiled egg, shorn for what just may be the last batch of hair that I allow to grow there for more than a month.

My just-buzzed-off hair in my bathroom's sink.

What may be my final batch of shorn longish hair, looking for all the world like a Tribble as played by Clarence Williams III.

The return of the "smoothie"-style Bunche.

My bushy hair and I certainly had our fun over the years, so really I don't regret ridding myself of it, but doing so is kind of an admission of defeat at the hands of the turning of the years. Oh, well. At least I did once get to have my hair at a good enough length to wear a Devo energy dome during one of the band's shows on a very humid summer day a few years back, and the humidity and the plastic helm's shape teemed up to effortlessly shape my Afro into a naturally-occurring new wave ziggurat. A good memory, and here are the photos to preserve it.

At the McCarren Park Pool Devo show on 6/26/2008: with energy dome...

...and without.

Gaviota, el terremoto del siglo

Magdalena de la Fuente Gaviota Dulcinea del Toboso es una escritora peruana obsesionada con los gays, admiradora de Obama, y ex candidata a presidenta por su país. 

"El premio Nobel también llora
tiene hambre siente frío
se enamora..."

o

"Salgo a caminar a comprar un puñado de esperanza
Compro un kilo de amor
Compro un kilo de paz
Compro un kilo de ternura
Compro miles de kilos de besos
Compro un poco de sexo
Compro un poco de invierno antes que se acabe..."

son cabales ejemplos de su prosa.

En su tarjeta personal figura lo siguiente:

"Lic.Antropología-Especialista en Psicología Clínica-Ex-Catedrático de la Universidad de Cajamarca. Consultora de Empresas-Publicidad-Márketing-Correctora de estilo- Conferencista-Relaciones Públicas-Relaciones Humanas-Locutora de Radio (18 años de experiencia) en todas las Radios de Cajamarca-Pacasmayo-Lima Guionista de Cine-Novelas de Televisión-Editora de libros y Revistas. Doy clases de Oratoria-Poesía-Novela-Cómo vencer la Timidez y Problemas de Pareja-(psicológicos-emocionales-depresión-frigidez-impotencia-sexuales)".

¿Quieren más?

Pues véanla es estos videos donde a fuerza de histrionismo logra arrancar la exclamación del público.  Es fuerte. No digan después que no les avisé.



Hice el amor con Oscar Wilde



Conquistaré Diney World


Y por si ya están sufriendo de abstinencia, éste es su sitio oficial:

Escritora gaviota


The Best Page in the Universe

The logo for "The Best Page in the Universe"
The Best Page in the Universe

For those of you who have never visited Maddox's website, I strongly suggest you click the above link and do so. I've been reading this guys page since middle school and he's hilarious and right 80-90% of the time.

The whole premise of the site is that he writes about things/people that either piss him off of he likes and does so in hilarious fashion. He's also really smart and good at developing plausible arguments.

I also love the way he tackles hate mail and posts it on his site. I can only hope that someday I will receive hate mail and meet it with the same biting wit and sarcasm that Maddox is able to.

I don't have much else to say other than start reading this dude's site, it's seriously awesome. I'm more than happy to be giving him some free advertising. 

March-ing In Movies!!

When Inception Meets Bourne:

What do you do when you realize you life was already planned out by somebody else and your fate is in control in somebody else hand? Would you fight fate? How could you fight fate? Matt Damon is gonna teach you how =]

This movie have the mysterious side of 'Inception' and the action power of 'Bourne' series, this gonna be a ass kicking smart movie that you give you a lots of 'What if??'. BTW, the movie is also all about the power of love, how much a guy would give up to be his loved...he even wanna throw away his U.S Senate position D:
Release Date: 3rd March 2011

And another power of love~

Remake of beauty and the beast, Vanessa Hudgens's style =3
Yea, the story is kinda like beauty and the beast, he has to find true love with his look and bla~bla~bla~, power of love bla~bla~ VANESSA HUDGENS!!! Gonna watch xD
Release Date: 4th March 2011

After Skyline:

Here we go again, in LA this time
Graphics~Graphics~Graphics~ We have seen enough with aliens invading our home, what's left is how the booming would look on the screen, graphics is the key to success in such movie =]
Release Date: 17th March 2011

Suck this!!! Girls Power!!
At least they found the right person to fit the name 'Baby Doll', Emily browning looks dolly enough. Good head start to give you a reason to watch this movie...Next...
Yeap~ Vanessa Hudgens again :D
With cooler outfits, cooler guns and sexier partners = Fire in the cinema (Watch out for Jizz xD)
Jamie Chung..Fuiyoh... You being killed in the 'Sororities' and now you were back to kill, nice~better of than being Goku's girlfriend hahaha, anyways~she's hot!!
The rest of the cast? I'm not interested xD
The movie with these girls would go unimagined crazy when they are holding big guns and they are in 'fantasy world'. Everything is in imagination but somehow link to the real world that would eventually helped their escaped from being slaves.. The graphics and scenes are kinda made for 3D, hopes that the 3D is worth the watch...hmmmm...but still is a MUST WATCH MOVIE!!!
Release Date: 24 March 2011

Mr.E signing out, you are now officially allowed to book me to join you for these movies xD

Double Excitement!!!

It all start when you click 'BUY' and the seller send it to you...(sent 23/02/2011)

= = TAHAN BUAT APA!!! Waste time!! > <''
On the way here... :D

WALAH!!! Here it is, 1st time receive such big box hehe...

Double excitement!! Two in one box!!
This is what I m taking about...and the main character of the day, long time no see bro Godzilla!!!
This is a robotic Godzilla that walks and shouts, extremely cool if you though bout it..but, think twice =3
The body and the speaker..
Left Foot...
Both Foot...
Giant Tail...
This is what makes Godzilla a bad ass lizard =3
Complete Robot set-up...
Complete Godzilla!!! (After 3 hours of struggling to get the machine into it's skin, pain in the ass, seriously)

All hard work works out when i though about that I got this extremely large Lizard on kinda low price from what it is. Good quality as rubber is soft and flexible enough, doesn't torn even though i have being struggling with it... Nice color and details...and nice box too, congrazt Edward!!! xD

Now...after all those hard work...



Yup...It doesn't move, not to mention walk = =
Must be my mistake for not building it well...but after 3hrs dealing with it, I m truly exhausted and decided to forgive myself. Let it be like it be, it is already nice by just looking at it =3

As for Lancelot..sorry la, next time only deal with you...1/35 scale model kit...lazy to build lah!!! xP

Mr.E signing out, Rock on Godzilla!!!!

EXPLODEY THE PUP IN REN HOEK'S "I LIKE PINK"

Simply put, one of the all-time great "bad" cartoons.

WAY TO TAKE HOME THAT LITTLE NEKKID DUDE, NAT!

My girl Natalie Portman took home the Oscar yesterday for her delirious/creepy performance in the excellent BLACK SWAN, proving that there is occasionally justice shown in the awards show's annual results. However, though I'm quite pleased with her Oscar win, I just wish she'd said the following during her acceptance speech:

"I would like to take this opportunity to apologize from the bottom of my soul for my participation in those shitty STAR WARS prequels. Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?!!? I would have better served my career by appearing in an 8mm porno reel shot in a Tijuana basement with closeups of me shoving a freeze-dried iguana up my snatch on a stained, sheetless mattress. Please, please forgive me. I am now off to scourge myself with barbed wire in the desert for fourteen years. Thank you."

Would have been the best Oscars moment ever.

THE NEVER-ENEDING SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MISHEGOSS LURCHES ON

As mentioned yesterday, the producers of SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK are considering once again pushing back the troubled production's opening date (it's currently set to raise the curtain on March 15th). Now, according to several media sources, it looks like they may push back the show's opening to June. Again, I call for accepting reality and simply putting the show out of its misery.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

El Cisne Negro (Black Swan, 2010)

Con esta película pasa algo que cada tanto deja al descubierto prejuicios y vanidades. Se han formado dos bandos, integrados indistintamente por público y por críticos, que se enbanderan casi devotamente tras la historia en un caso o que la destruyen sin piedad por el otro. Ambos víctimas de una campaña de prensa engañosa que promete algo que no es, y del rótulo “nominada al Oscar” que atrae a los que piensan que ello sigue siendo sinónimo de calidad. ¿Es The Black Swan la gran película del año o un producto inflado desmesuradamente? Ésta es tan solo mi opinión. Ustedes, por supuesto, tendrán la última palabra luego de verla en su cine amigo.

Nina (Natalie Portman) es la bailarina elegida para reemplazar a Beth Macintyre (Winona Ryder), estrella de la compañía que ha sido dejada de lado por cuestiones de edad. El director (Vincent Cassel) le propone interpretar dentro de “El lago de los cisnes” las dos caras del papel principal: al cisne blanco, cándido, gracioso, y al cisne negro, oscuro, malvado. Su personalidad la convierte en la candidata perfecta para hacer el primer papel, pero para resultar convincente en el segundo deberá extraer su lado más perverso y siniestro. La presión por alcanzar la perfección comienza a afectarla física y psicológicamente y severos síntomas de psicosis amenazan con sacarla de carrera. No ayudan para nada tampoco las actitudes de su posesiva madre (Barbara Hershey, violada por espíritus en el clásico ochentero The Entity), y las de su compañera de baile Lyli (Mila Kunis), la rival que podría quitarle el papel de su vida.




He leído y escuchado muchas cosas sobre la película, algunas interesantes y otras realmente absurdas, y que me gustaría aclarar de entrada. En principio, a quienes se acerquen a la misma pensando que verán una historia sobre el mundo de la danza les digo que han sido engañados vilmente. En primer lugar por una campaña de prensa que buscó acercar a un público que, de saber la verdad, nunca hubiera asistido a los cines. Publicidades que ocultaban la trama principal y periodistas reporteando a personalidades de la danza no hicieron más que expandir el engaño. Porque el film es un thriller psicológico que coquetea por momentos con el terror. La primera mitad ciertamente  toca temas como los celos y la feroz competencia entre las bailarinas, pero con el fin de situar al espectador en el mundo de la protagonista. El marco del ballet, sin embargo, es hasta cierto punto anecdótico ya que cualquier ambiente artístico competitivo podría haber funcionado igual de bien: una obra teatral, el rodaje de una película... 



Muchos basan sus críticas en este desengaño: “el mundo de la danza no es así”, expresan como argumento excluyente. Otros incluso la defenestraron basados en que nunca se sabe cuánto de lo que experimenta Nina ocurre en la realidad y cuánto es producto de sus alucinaciones. Sin palabras. Lo único que tengo para decirle a esta gente es: sigan viendo películas y después hablamos.



En fin, pasemos a mi análisis. El director Darren Aronofsky retoma en El Cisne Negro el clima opresivo de la alucinante y tendenciosa Réquiem por un sueño (2000). El muchacho tiene muy buen pulso dirigiendo la cámara. Como pocos logra atmósferas angustiantes a través del minucioso uso de las imágenes, con primeros planos acertados y tomas largas que meten al espectador sin piedad dentro de la perturbada cabeza de Nina.


Las actuaciones son el otro aspecto destacable de la película. Vincent Cassel compone a un magnífico director de compañía, manipulador y lascivo, mientras que la hermosa Mila Kunis con su amplia sonrisa y sus penetrantes ojos resulta convincentemente ambigua en sus intenciones. Hasta Winona Ryder (apodada cariñosamente por mí como “el androide”) tiene un desempeño breve pero interesante. Con respecto a Natalie Portman, éste puede ser sin dudas su mejor papel. En la pantalla se aprecia que el esfuerzo al que estuvo sometida durante casi un año, tanto el físico (cinco horas de entrenamiento diario, una dolorosa lesión en la costilla), como el psicológico, dieron sus resultados. No debió ser fácil ponerse en la cabeza de la sufrida Nina, sobre todo con el obsesivo de Aronofsky marcándola de cerca. (Mientras escribo ésto veo que acaba de ganar el Oscar a mejor actriz. Merecido si dudas).




Dentro de los aspectos flojos del film destaco lo poco explotado del personaje de Winona Ryder. Aunque algunos no lo crean, me hubiese gustado verla un poco más en el papel de la resentida ex estrella de la danza. Todo lo contrario a lo que me sucedió con la frustrada y controladora madre de Nina, interpretada por Barbara Hershey. El problema no es con la actriz, que considero talentosa, sinó con el personaje. Tan cliché y obvio que resta en lugar de sumar.

No soy especialista en ballet ni mucho menos (ciertos conocidos míos deben estar soltando una carcajada en este momento), pero salta a la vista que las secuencias de baile no son muy lucidas. La edición vertiginosa y la cámara puesta en el cuerpo y el rostro de Natalie convierten a este “Lago de los Cisnes” en lo más alejado a una típica velada en el teatro Colón de Buenos Aires. Los que saben de esto incluso destacan que el cuerpo de baile es bastante mediocre, pero allí yo no me meto.


Y un último “pero”: quince minutos menos le habrían venido bien a la película para no tornar repetitiva la angustia de Nina. Demasiado tiempo tenemos que verle la cara de sufrida hasta que “el lado oscuro” empieza a aflorar con fuerza.


Uno de los polémicos trailers

Por lo demás el resultado general es contundente. Hay momentos de suspenso que quitan el aliento, otros de violencia que erizarán la piel, algo de sexo que agradecerán los más pervertidos, y efectos especiales más que aceptables en función de una historia de obsesiones y locura que tiene claras influencias del cine de Cronenberg.



¡ASÍ SÍ!: Aronofsky sabe como hacernos pasar un mal rato inolvidable.


¡ASÍ NO!: Algún que otro golpe de efecto innecesario (me encanta la sangre, pero a veces menos es más).





一遍、死んで见る?

试问...

"一遍、死んで见る?"

死后会是怎样呢..?
阴间会有多阴暗..?
地狱会比红尘辛苦吗..?
天堂只是为了要我们在人间多做善事而存在是谎言吗?

我更想知道的是...会有人舍不得我的离去吗...?
会有人为我悼念吗..?
会有人为我流泪吗..?
会有人记得我所做的一切吗..?

活着意义...就是要你在离世前,把你的生活植入别人的脑海里,越深越好,
好让其人对你曾经所做的一切没世不忘...
这不是我残忍..我不是想看人们为我悲伤..只是...
离世后的人,只能活在别人的记忆里...我没办了..

让我借一借你们的'存储器',我存下的,请不要删除掉 =]

Check Your Mail!!!

This is why you should always~always~ check your mail frequently!!!

I saw this mail today, abo I got free first screening to watch movie d!!! > <''
Sorry Nuffnang!! Please give me another chance, awaiting for your next screening in Penang =3

P/S: That day I work From 1pm till 10pm, can't go watch anyways =P

Mr.E signing out, check your mail if you wan free stuff... You never know what's coming =]

BIG SURPRISE — SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK MAY BE DELAYED YET AGAIN

No one is less surprised than Yer Bunche to read that SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK, the Great White Way's great white elephant, may have its announced opening night of March 15th pushed back yet again — for what would be the sixth (!!!) time — for reasons outlined in the NEW YORK TIMES article found here. To crib an infamous quote from a very publicly drunk John Wayne, "it's getting to be re-goddamned-diculous." No, on second thought, this has gone waaaay beyond re-goddamned-diculous.

With all re-tooling and bringing back of Bono and purported bringing in of outside help, I would love to know just how far over its $65,000,000 budget this fiasco has gone. It looks like the considerations currently underway are taking into account the likelihood/stone cold reality that this show will never earn back its expenditures during its domestic run, so now the objective is to get ready to turn this gaudily-painted whore loose on the international market. Good luck with that...

Saturday, February 26, 2011

MY JOURNEY THROUGH THE NEW BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

SPOILER WARNING!!! If you have not yet watched the new BATLLESTAR GALACTICA and plan on doing so, or if you are making your way through it for the first time like I am, you're advised to give this post a miss.

As some of you know, I'm finally watching the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (2004-2009), perhaps the most critically-acclaimed American science-fiction program of the past three decades. I was thirteen when the original series debuted in 1978, and my almost pathological hatred of that show is legendary among some of my friends, so I figured that any "re-imagining" of such a rock-bottom, empty-headed, flagrant STAR WARS cash-in would have to be better than the original simply by virtue of its very existence. And I was right. However, the further I get into it, the more I'm convinced that the updated show is largely the most impressive example of "the emperor has no clothes" that I've ever seen. I don't think it's terrible by any means, in fact I found it quite entertaining up to a point, but "Best show on TV?" Maybe if you're willing to overlook towering inconsistencies in the rules and plots the writers set up that happen in almost every episode. I'm entertained, but as of about early during the third season there was in my opinion a marked decline in believability/quality. In short, I don't think the show lives up to the hype.


I recently finished the episode where Starbuck's rival, Kat, reveals her "shocking" secret past and dies from radiation sickness before any further narrative mileage could be wrought from her revelation, and my overall assessment of the series at this point is that it was quite entertaining and fun when it was good, but it's really not a science-fiction show at all and is instead a military/political drama that just happens to be set in deep space and only has the trappings of sci-fi (there is virtually no scientific accuracy or even speculative believability present whatsoever), and from there its overall narrative gradually degenerates into a space-set soap opera. The performances are uniformly good, but the scripts are wildly inconsistent, often featuring plot points that make absolutely zero sense — the presidency of Gaius Baltar being the most idiotic and unbelievable of the lot — , set up rules that are frequently violated within an episode after they are established (the various points about the Cylons being fucked with all the time and to little or no real purpose), and threads that often go nowhere after much setup (which I hope will turn out to come together by the series' end).

Having been a lifelong fan of quality (and, admittedly, sometimes not-so-quality) science-fiction and also due to my overly-analytical/editorial nature, it is perhaps harder for me to overlook that the emperor has no clothes a lot easier than the layman who actually watches TV with regularity (I have not had cable in ages and I do not miss it at all). The fact that this show was almost universally hailed as "the best series on television" during its initial airings is frankly baffling to me and I refuse to drink the Kool-Aid.

Kara Thrace, aka Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff): less a character than a rote action figure.

Chief among the elements of the new BSG that chafes my ass is that though I usually gravitate toward female warrior characters in most stories, I fucking hate Kara Thrace/Starbuck. I hate, hate, HATE her! She's just too much of a broad caricature of the archetype and I've seen her like so often in the wake of the excellent XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS that I'm sick of the character type. Starbuck is so blatantly a cutout who was both written and performed to be an "I am WOMAN, hear me roar" stereotype that she never had even the slightest chance of being a well-rounded character, which is a damned shame because Katee Sackhoff gives her all while playing her. (Her job here was in essence the losing battle of spinning the writers' straw into gold.) To me, a guy who never had a problem with women as heroes, it's a case of over-preaching to the long-converted and frankly I found it like being back in Sunday school was I was being indoctrinated with how "awesome" a 2000-year-old Jewish zombie carpenter was by the borderline-psychotic Jamaican wife of the church's reverend. (DISCLAIMER: I firmly believe Jesus existed as a fully-mortal radical rabbi and find much merit in what he had to say to the world, but I do not buy any of the more fantastical elements of his myth.) I called bullshit then and I now call bullshit on Kara Thrace. It's gotten to the point where I almost fast-forward the second she appears, but I don't in case I might miss a pertinent piece of dialog. (Surprisingly, in discussing Starbuck with members of my tribe of lesbians, all of them that were into this show feel the same way I do about Starbuck when I would have bet good money on the opposite being the case.) In fact, the only characters I really give a damn about are the Sharon copy who was a prisoner on the Galactica, Helo, Laura Roslin (who is far and away my very favorite), the Chief, and sometimes Colonel Tigh and his utter ho-bag of a wife, but that's about it. Also, I have just gotten past the point where Starbuck was presented with that little girl who was alleged to be her genetic offspring (which I didn't buy for a second) and after all the virulent Cylon-hate and disgust at the farms where the Cylons capture human females and force them to be brood mares for human/Cylon reproduction, to have her in any way be sweet to that kid...I call "bullshit." She should have picked that kid up by the legs and dashed out her brains on the floor. Then I would have believed all the hard-ass setup of the previous two seasons. No way would she have allowed the product of what was essentially a high-tech violation of her body to exist. No fucking way. And that action would have led to an excellent plot point and a major character arc by having her murder an innocent child and deal with the consequences and resulting guilt, but no such luck.

With the exceptions of a very small few, every single adult female I've discussed this show with worshiped the ground Starbuck walked on in much the same way that many women I've known over the years amazingly cite Scarlet O'Hara as an admirable role model. (Did they see the same movie I did?) However you cut it, Starbuck is not a "hero" I would want my impressionable (and sadly theoretical) daughters to follow. Without over-analyzing, I'll simply break it down to the fact she's basically an unappealing, abrasive, self-destructive asshole whose supposed heroism covers the fact that she's pretty much a hypocritical sociopath who's given license for most of her her actions by virtue of being in the military. She's also a supposedly staunch believer in the Colonial polytheistic religion, but her handling of her adulterous relationship with Lee Adama (who is an almost total void of personality, by the way) proves that she's completely full of shit.

Xena (Lucy Lawless, who's also on the new BSG in a recurring role unworthy of her considerable talents): perhaps the definitive conflicted and complex female TV hero and everything the writers of the new BSG wish Starbuck was.

Lucy Lawless' now-deservedly-classic Xena — the biggest thing in female heroes for ages until the re-gendered Starbuck came along — on the other hand, straight-up admitted to her history of considerable evil and spent her entire series trying to make amends for her past (a losing battle from the get-go), and the thing that fascinated about her during that odyssey was that despite how hard she tried and how much good she did, she still could not fully exorcise the part of her that was a bloodthirsty killer. Her heart was in the right place, but it just was not in her nature, so her journey toward redemption was a fascinating study in inevitable failure and on many levels I think she knew that. I also will never forget the day I realized that she was irredeemable and that the real twist of the series was that it was actually her more "femme" sidekick/lover Gabrielle's journey from youthful naivete to fully-realized adult womanhood and how she absorbed all of Xena's positive skills and traits while completely eschewing the bad and never giving up on having faith in her lover's ability to change for the better (although I think on some level she also knew that would never happen in total). Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) in essence became the hero Xena wanted to be, and Xena's individual failure can also be read as a great triumph, because her great capacity for evil and violence led to the genesis of a true hero who is in many ways the ideal of the enlightened warrior-poet. Gabrielle is therefore everything that the writers of Wonder Woman have failed to grasp about the character since her inception. And the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle, be it lesbian or whatever (and in the DVD commentary both Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor flat-out state that the characters were lovers and a deeply committed couple, but we all knew that anyway), was also one of the most genuine, healthy and realistic in TV history, and the positive give and take between the two was absolutely endearing.

Now, after reading all of that, look again at Starbuck and try to tell me that she has even one-sixteenth of all that deep shit going on. You can't, because it simply isn't there. She's an action figure for people with too much anger in them and an un-analyzed icon for misguided feminists and morons. Fuck Kara Thrace. In the ear, and straight on through to her empty, soulless brain. (And allow me to reiterate, my hatred of this so-called character is no reflection on Katee Sackhoff's work.)

Those in search of a genuinely worthwhile and outstanding female character on this show are advised to pay attention to the admittedly low-key president of the Colonies, Laura Roslin, played with vast subtlety by Mary McDonnell (perhaps best known to viewers as Stands With A Fist in DANCES WITH WOLVES).

Mary McDonnell as Laura Roslin, the show's most compelling female presence.

Roslin is a former school teacher and the Colonial government's Secretary of Education under President Adar, but she finds herself suddenly thrust into the top office when the rest of the government is nuked into oblivion during the Cylon bombing of Caprica that opens the series. With no training whatsoever for her unexpected presidency, Roslin quickly proves a canny politico and leader who coolly takes no shit from anyone, not even the remaining military bigwigs, an attitude that at first rankles many but soon wins them (and us) over by virtue of her sheer understated badassery and occasionally shark-like political maneuvering. The woman makes many very hard and sometimes downright ruthless decisions, all in the name of preserving the safety and unity of those now under her authority, which is exactly what a strong and responsible leader is supposed to do. I frankly find Roslin to be completely awesome — even when she has to do some shit that is both highly unethical and flagrantly illegal — and my earlier statement of my gravitation toward woman warriors in stories of this ilk still applies, because she is the most intelligent and formidable of opponents and is definitely a warrior in her own way.

As of a few hours ago I'm now up to the episode where, following the exodus from New Caprica, the Galactica and the rest of the ragtag fleet must make their way through some kind of radiation belt to a planet that will hopefully replenish their seriously depleted food supply, while Baltar is more or less a prisoner of the Cylons, and if not for wanting to see how all of this turns out I would just bail. For all intents and purposes I have lost interest in nearly everything on this show and rather than endure another thirty episodes (and two stand-alone movies that are connected to the narrative) I called up a friend who has seen the whole thing and asked him to tell me how it all ends. Now that I know, I was not surprised in the least — I won't come out and say exactly what happens, but I had to read Erich von Däniken's CHARIOTS OF THE GODS back in my ninth grade "Future Realities" class at Long Lots Junior High over three decades ago, so I kinda saw it coming — and I could simply walk away right now and be content. However, after writing about President Roslin, I realize that I do want to see how her arc ends and I will stick with the show for her and the final fates of the characters I previously mentioned as giving a damn about.

So my final assessment is this: I will eventually get back to it and finish the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, but I'm kinda burnt out on it for the moment. I admit that I'm a very tough audience, so take my opinion for what it may or may not be worth to you and proceed from there. You may find the show to be the best thing since sliced bread, so by all means enjoy. And despite all of my kvetching about it, I cannot say that the show ever bored me. It may not always have made logical sense and may have fallen into sometimes staggering soap opera stupidity, but being snooze-inducing is absolutely not one of its flaws.